mysterious

this piercing headache comes and goes.

it's the same every time.

i never know how i should respond.

thought a day

i am trying my best to stay positive.

i hate that i have to mentally balance the good from the bad in even the slightest, most insignificant situations.

annoying

remember how i push my luck and procrastinate? i'll probably suffer for it later.



i never learn my lesson the first time. actually it takes multiple mistakes for me to learn anything.
i never learn my lesson the first time... regarding anything.

unreconciled

i've grown weary of this fight.

it's understandable.
those rash choices.
when you come to the point,
where you fear your own emptiness.
no action has consequence (emotionally).

sooner or later, you will be unable to suppress it.
and the resulting act will open a dangerous doorway.

lay your head down.

listless

success more than anything.

coming back is... mildly difficult.
remember how i never learn my lesson?
remember how this is all kinds of ridiculous?
ugh.

but, there are new things ahead. exciting! hope!
... all with a degree of fear and
regret.
i really hate that word.

every day is a test.
i never was a good test-taker.

life, i ask you now: show me rest, show me peace of mind, and show me soft light.