not so popular anymore

i thought this was interesting:

http://www.washingtontimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071025/NATION/110250083/1002

hollywood has been trying to make money off this for awhile. actors and actresses specifically. guess they thought the public was much dumberer.

?

i somehow screw up everything, in every situation. i'm not asking to be perfect. i just want to be normal. normal people don't screw up the way i do.

the sad part is, i know i'll never become that person. there are just some things you know about yourself that are permanent. i guess all i can do is pick up the mess i make each and every day.

it takes a very strong person to put up with my bullshit.

panic

retaliation is probably the worst form of arguing.

do i disappoint you?

the tide is turning.

for a brief moment i saw myself perhaps forming honest relationships with my family, but things did not work out like i thought. for years i held back almost anything and everything, then for one year i took a chance.

i failed.

it's an odd feeling to know your family thinks about you and feels only sadness and disappointment and confusion.

they'll never know how i feel, though. because i won't tell them. i am done trying to be honest. acceptance just isn't something that my family practices very well.

i guess some still love/like me, but i honestly i can't be sure anymore.

my heart is sorrowful that i cause such shame and embarrassment, but for once i feel upmost joy and happiness.

do i really make those closest to me grieve and weep so often? is my life really a crumbling path? have i no accomplishments? am i so easily transparent that my damnation is recognized by everyone? does my faith deserve to be openly challenged and questioned?

i never thought my family would make me feel like this.

i was wrong about them.

i love them, as they claim for me. but love isn't enough, is it?