later thoughts

that was awkward. i hope it wasn't for nothing, but i guess that would be a choice. we all have a dream we want fulfilled, but life often chooses a direction for us. i shouldn't be surprised that eyes can so quickly turn away from you. i hated the feeling all around. but f was a comfort thereafter and i'm thankful.

so.

i am praying nothing dramatic changes between us, yet still keeping in mind everyone has their secrets.

sdiofghkdgj;aslgjkisl

brotherly love

expensive changes will surely bring priceless cheer.





i want you to feel loved.
i want you to feel appreciated.

i will communicate that until you never say otherwise.
i will do my part.
i owe it to you.
i know i hurt you.
i have resentment that is slow-mending.
i expect you to have the same.

self-control

sacrifice is key.

to achieve greater things, i must first give up the small things.

!

ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic! ecstatic!

don't tell

i think i may have finally learned my lesson.
it tends to be one event after another.
and i hate explanations, especially to those who matter not (to the event at hand).
i wish this event would just move forward.
lately i feel i have been taking steps back, to the side, or in place.

disappointment drains my mind.

it's true.
i leave room for dreams down each path.

for some reason i thought about death being the unexpected... event... to occur this year.
not my own, but a death no less.

let there be morning

god's creation is vast and nothing short of beautiful, but i seem to have a distorted sense of what his creation spreads over. sadly, however, i cannot bring myself to regard people moreso than sunsets, moutain landscapes, forest paths, or winding rivers. so often they repulse me, but then again, so do certain desert views...

tear drops don't stain my sheets

the winter is ending and i feel robbed of time. i am left wondering how i may be able to bring more meaning to life and to those around me. sure, i am viciously tempted to live glamorously, but oh how i'd love to be humbled. i am now into february and ready to see and experience new things. i am afraid of being left alone or not being approached by my hopes. feeling is fading quickly.