until the last of days

feelings change so sporatically.
six months makes such a difference.
i look back and wonder who i was.

i get flustered trying to determine my future.
i wonder how people see me.
i'm always sincerely honest with myself regarding my relationships.
i'm never fearful of [saying] the truth in my own mind.
i wish i knew the truth about me in others' minds.

the world in which i dwell often seems unrealistic and illogical.
and i choose to remain there.

na laetha geal moige

my mind is plain.
my head is swimming with exhaustion.

the pains in my chest
leave me short of valuable breath.

i could regret this

let's get to the real issue.
there was never anything to be jealous of.
you should know the kind of person i am.
above everything and everyone, i have to put myself first.
people's feelings may get hurt, but once again, who i am is not a secret.
i may be cryptic. i may be private. i may be spontaneous.
it may come across as offending, but it's not, really.
when i get pressured into positions that make me uncomfortable, i protect myself.
i may not tell the truth. the whole truth. i may leave some parts out. i may omit certain details... but i do it for myself.
there are worse things than lies.
what act is greater than another?
i shouldn't have to explain myself.
i am an independent person, and when someone wants direct answers, i will pick and choose what information i deem pertinent.
i am sorry.
obviously i was not trying to hurt you.
obviously i would have made certain facts private if i was ashamed.
maybe i should have shielded you.
but this is me.
obviously you are a close friend.
obviously you are special to me.

news

this is my favorite:

this makes the bush twins look good (for those of you who actually thought their situation was pertinent to bush's character)

(nervous)

spiraling thoughts.
mixed emotions.
uneasy moods.
tired eyes.