humiliation and nakedness

i wish god couldn't see or know my every thought.

blurry

will i have this anxiety my entire life?
how disparaging.

i do not see how i can change on my own.
i cannot even go on.

say it all you must

i deserve this;
(of course i do)

neat,
that still doesn't help.

since when does declaring anything make life any less... stormy?

mostly

it feels like there are too many
moments/opportunities
in which i am prone to failure.

honestly, i feel inept in life.
i don't mean to say i fail more often than i succeed,
or do i? it's probable.

jesus wept

made in god's image.
i think that's how it goes.

his likeness.
jesus cried,
but he never had this.

i reflect neither,
so what am i exactly?

but where does it lead?

everyone is trying to survive in this world.
and i am one of them.

tomorrow says rosie

do opposites attract?

i think i am too opposite.
i'm afraid she'll find out just how opposite i am... was...
but what i will be. that is different.
i can be different.

it makes my chest tense... knowing that i fail in so many areas of life.
i wish i hadn't failed god so long ago, and done nothing about it.

lifeless. helpless.

i need touch like everyone else.
please give me another chance.

if a woman could tame

we laughed together
we shared ice cream
we hugged as i left...

i have spent too much of my life in depression

i am already thankful she has come into my life

i cannot help but wonder if we might be more